Celebrating Treason

Imagine the outrage if Japan made December 7^th a national holiday complete with parades and reenactments of Pearl Harbor and the Bataan Death March.  There is a wing at ADX Florence (the U.S. Government’s super max prison) reserved for those who commit treason.   In my mind to be stabbed in the back by one’s own countryman is more heinous than some foreign whack job trying to set shoes afire on a loaded airplane. 

Yet disdain for treason seems to escape the governor of Virginia who declared April “Confederate History Month”.  Supporters are quick to claim that this is nothing more than a celebration of history and heritage.  To that I say “bull hockey” (no offense to my Canadian friends).  If the mayor of Berlin declared September to be Nazi Heritage month complete with displays of the Swastika he would be arrested and thrown into jail.  In this day and age when tea monkeys are complaining about imagined capitulation to America’s enemies why would anyone want to admire and memorialize any movement especially a home grown one dedicated to slavery and destruction of the republic?  I think I know the answer to my own question but the thought of “going there” is making me sick.

America's Most Wanted

As I write this Manuel Noriega is rotting in a federal prison for participating in a conspiracy to export drugs into the U.S. At the heart of the conviction is something called RICO which basically says that if you knowingly help someone commit a crime it is the same as if you perpetrated the offense.



Enter Joseph Ratzinger aka Pope Benedict XVI. Prior to becoming pope Cardinal Ratzinger served as Prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith. Think of the Perfect as Batman’s man servant Alfred , Tony Soprano’s capo Silvio or Bruce Springsteen’s saxophone player Clarence Clemmons. In his capacity as Prefect Ratzinger participated in the cover up of crimes against children perpetrated by catholic clergy. There is no difference between Ratzinger and fugitive Simon Lopez-Orozco, a man wanted in Idaho for helping his brother, a murderer sneak out of the country.

Now maybe I’ve watched too many episodes of Law and Order Special Victims Unit but in my mind crimes against children are bit more serious than drug trafficking. A drug user chooses (or at least makes the initial first choice to try drugs) to become a victim. In spite of what Bill O’Reilly may say children do not make such choice.


So my question is this. Why not arrest the pope? No man is above the law, including a guy who wears gowns and big pointy hats. While it took a couple of seal teams, some green berets and the better part of the 7th division to capture Noriega we should be able to snag the pope with a squad of boy scouts whom have earned the rifle shooting merit badge. Think about it. The Vatican Army consists of couple dozen guys, dressed like extras from the Shakespeare Festival armed with swords and pointy sticks. Sure pikes were bad ass around 900 AD but no match for the good old American Smith and Weston. Recall that scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark where Indiana shoots the swordsman in the bizarre with his pistol and you get the picture. How can we call ourselves a nation of laws while Pope Benedict and a good portion of the U.S. Council of Bishops are allowed to freely walk the streets?

Dawning of a New Era

Fran McCaffery formerly of the Sienna Saints is the new Hawkeye basketball coach. To be honest I don’t know what to think. While the message boards are not kind to this choice I think it just might work for the following reasons…

• Fran the Builder – Coach McCaffery took a dismal Sienna program and turned it to the preeminent power in the Metro Atlantic conference. Licklighter on the other hand ascended from a successful program that he inherited from Barry Collier.

• Going Coastal – I’m not old enough to remember the hiring of Lute Olsen but I suspect that many questioned his ability to recruit the Midwest much like folks today are questioning McCaffery’s ability to do the same. Keep in mind McCaffery was an assistant at Notre Dame, located in the Chicago suburb of South Bend Ind. Having someone from out of the time zone may prove to be an advantage. Think of the Texas/ New Jersey studs recruited to Iowa City by Hayden Fry.

• Iowa Connections – If the coach is to be taken at his word at least one of the new assistants will have played at the Hawkeye U. This won’t necessarily mean more “W”s but will likely bring back some of the fans turned off by having Hoosiers coach our teams.

• Coaching Style – McCaffery is likely to bring an up tempo east coast style of basketball to the Big Ten. This could be an advantage in that Iowa will not be after the cookie cutter half court players that dominate conference play.

Who Will it Be Now

Surprise surprise... not!  The University of Iowa, the Avenger's alma matter, fired its basketball coach.  As I write this Iowa City is all a buzz with rumor and innuendo as to whom the next coach might be.  Here is my take on some of the candidates...


Bruce Pearl - I had the honor of meeting coach Pearl on a couple of occasions while he worked as an assistant on Dr. Tom's staff.  I like Bruce Pearl but he seems to be happy at Rocky Top U.


Rick Majerus - I love this guy.  While health concerns were cited for his short lived retirement from basketball I suspect his outspoken comments about Utah's predominant religion and culture may have have contributed to his departure.  How neat would it be to have a coach who looks like the average pork chomping beer swilling  Iowan?  Not since John Kruk or Refrigerator Perry have those of us who are gravitationally challenged, have had one of our own to cheer for.  My concern is that Majerus might lack the stamina to rebuild the program.


Keno Davis - I'm not a believer.  Getting to the NCAA with dad's players only to drop a deuce in the first round does not inspire a lot of confidence.


Ben Jacobson - Jacobson is the coach at nearby Northern Iowa, has a couple of wins against the Hawkeyes under his belt and is getting ready for his second NCAA appearance with the Panthers.  Some say insanity is doing the same thing over again and again and expecting different results. I'm not so sure if going to the ranks of a mid major school as was the case with Alford and Lickliter is the way to go.


Steve Lavin - This guy brings name recognition and will immediately put butts back into the seats of Carver Hawkeye Arena.  In my mind Lavin is a bit unproven having ascended from the assistant's chair to head coach of a winning UCLA program.  On top of everything else Lavin is a west coast guy so who knows if he would even stick around.


C. Vivian Stringer - Now that you have stopped laughing hear me out.  First, coach Stringer has Iowa ties having taken the Lady Hawkeyes to final four.  Second she is the third winningest coach in Women's basketball so she knows her Xs and Os.  Third, she has coached men having scoured the intramural courts for guys to practice against her players.  Fourth, think of the recruiting possibilities.  In most urban environments it is mom and/or grandma who rules the roost.  Having a strong women to connect with mom and grandma might offer that inside advantage needed to land the next Ronny Lester or B.J. Armstrong.

My Take on the Oscars

Here's my take...

• ZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
  
  
• Did anyone under the age of 60 notice or care that Barbra Wa Wa is giving up her Pre-Oscar interview show?
  
  
• What was up with all of those one strap dresses from the Vera Wang's Andre the Giant collection?
  
  
• Mrs. Avenger had to remind me that we were watching the Oscars and not a live action remake of the Flintstone's.
  
  
• Monique is the new Oprah.
  
  
• Avatar almost became the first remake of an Oscar winning film (Dances with Wolves) to win its own Oscar.
  
  
• Found it odd that three suicides (Michael Jackson, Brittany Murphy, David Carradine) made it into the "In Memoriam" section of the show but two actresses who died of natural causes Bea Arthur (Mame) and Farrah Fawcett (Dr. T and the Women and The Apostole) did not.
  
  
• Why not combine the Oscars and Tony's and limit our national nightmares to one night?
  
  
• With Meryl Streep and Helen Mirren canceling each other out Sandra Bullock waltzed her way to a best actress win.
  
  
• Kudos to Sandra Bullock for winning both the Best Actress (Oscar) and Worst Actress (Razzie) in the same weekend.  Maybe now Jessie James can stop moonlighting as reality T.V. bitch.
  
  
• Three things were missing from Jeff Bridges acceptance speech; shorts, flip flops and a white russian.
  
  
• Look for my movie "Bear Based on the novel Nerd by Blurb" to become an early favorite for the 2012 Oscars.
  
  
• Surprised to learn that the Hurt Locker was about the Iraq War and not a posthumous John Hughes Film set in a suburban Chicago high.

You Go Girl

If there is anything I've learned from culturally insensitive sterotypes is that the only thing Canadians love more than their hockey is a good stiff drink.  So why on Koresh's green earth would anyone be shocked that the Canada's women's Olympic Hockey team would celebrate their gold medal victory with cigars and a few barley pops. 

The International Olympic Committee (IOC) is investigating the post game celebration that took place on the ice long after the fans and any impressionable youngsters cleared the building. What is there to investigate?  The IOC bills its self as an organization of sport, peace and cultural understanding.  For Canadians drinking is as cultural as a Chinese dragon dance or fighting on St. Patrick's day. 

So I say to our neighbors to the north congragulations.  Stay proud and stand on guard for thee.

Dog Eat Dog

Driving through the vast rangeland of Idaho with nothing but country and baby Jesus music on the radio my mind tends to wander.  On a recent trip for the day job I drove past a vast cattle feedlot (at least 5000 head if not more) and got to thinking about the ethics of eating meat.  Specifically why do we eat beef and not dogs.  Here is what I came up with ...


1) I personify my dog; imposing on my pampered pet human feelings, behavior and emotion.  Eating my dog would be akin to cannibalism.


2) Watching my dog and her behavior and habits on a daily basis lets just say sanitary issues would lead me to seriously consider death by starvation over life saving nourishment from a dog.


3) I don't know the first thing about how properly butcher or cook dog.


4) I have other tasty food alternatives.


Now the only real ethical difference between eating a dog and eating a cow, pig, fish or chicken is space.  If I had a bovine living in my backyard and had to raise it, watch it on a daily basis and butcher it myself I doubt I would be able to eat any cow.