Burn Baby Burn

On 9/11 some members of the Christian Taliban plan on burring copies of the Koran.  What better way to commemorate one act of terror with another.  Don’t get me wrong.  I whole heartedly support the first amendment and part of freedom’s price is tolerance for David Koresh wannabes who, if given the chance would throw away our founding documents for a Castro style Tudor theocracy.  Wow.  That was brilliant. I should stop here.

Since these book burning nut jobs claim to be doing the lord’s work I went to the source.  Before continuing I need to issue a disclaimer.  All of my Biblical knowledge is limited to English translations of Latin translations of Greek translations of Hebrew translations of Aramaic translations of words that were copied down from what was essentially a centuries long game of telephone. So maybe there is a margin of error in my research and I should be open to the possibility that Jesus was an arsonist of the first order. 

Using three different Bibles, one where every sentence begins with thee, thy and thou, one presented to me on the day of my confirmation that appears to have more chapters than the ones placed in hotel rooms by the Gideons and a version handed to me on a nice spring day by street corner preacher I commenced research.  Much to my surprise I could not find a single example of the J man burning a book or commanding his followers to do so.  Now I did find endorsements for stem cell research (healing leapers), open borders (the Good Samaritan) and financial reform (kicking the money changers out of the temple).  Other things I learned from my research is that a truly righteous and holy man eats sushi (loaves and fishes) and swills wine to the point of passing out (the bottomless wine bar of Cana). 

America's Most Wanted

As I write this Manuel Noriega is rotting in a federal prison for participating in a conspiracy to export drugs into the U.S. At the heart of the conviction is something called RICO which basically says that if you knowingly help someone commit a crime it is the same as if you perpetrated the offense.



Enter Joseph Ratzinger aka Pope Benedict XVI. Prior to becoming pope Cardinal Ratzinger served as Prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith. Think of the Perfect as Batman’s man servant Alfred , Tony Soprano’s capo Silvio or Bruce Springsteen’s saxophone player Clarence Clemmons. In his capacity as Prefect Ratzinger participated in the cover up of crimes against children perpetrated by catholic clergy. There is no difference between Ratzinger and fugitive Simon Lopez-Orozco, a man wanted in Idaho for helping his brother, a murderer sneak out of the country.

Now maybe I’ve watched too many episodes of Law and Order Special Victims Unit but in my mind crimes against children are bit more serious than drug trafficking. A drug user chooses (or at least makes the initial first choice to try drugs) to become a victim. In spite of what Bill O’Reilly may say children do not make such choice.


So my question is this. Why not arrest the pope? No man is above the law, including a guy who wears gowns and big pointy hats. While it took a couple of seal teams, some green berets and the better part of the 7th division to capture Noriega we should be able to snag the pope with a squad of boy scouts whom have earned the rifle shooting merit badge. Think about it. The Vatican Army consists of couple dozen guys, dressed like extras from the Shakespeare Festival armed with swords and pointy sticks. Sure pikes were bad ass around 900 AD but no match for the good old American Smith and Weston. Recall that scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark where Indiana shoots the swordsman in the bizarre with his pistol and you get the picture. How can we call ourselves a nation of laws while Pope Benedict and a good portion of the U.S. Council of Bishops are allowed to freely walk the streets?