Idaho's Top 5 Beatles Songs

This summer Rolling Stone came out with a list of top ten Beatles songs. I tried to come up with my own list; an exercise that ended with severe migraine headache. Picking the ten best Beatles Songs would be like asking my mother to pick her next favorite child after yours truly. So I got to thinking if one were to survey just Idahoans what would that list look like. Well here is a good guess...

5. The Long and Winding Road - Idaho is full of long and winding roads. Just ask anyone who has driven from say Idaho City to Lowman.

4. Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band - Idahoans love the military so a "Sergeant" whether he is in the Army, Air Force, Marines, on a show about an advertising guy married to a witch or in a band is going to be popular. The opening lyric is "It was 20 years ago today...". Most Idahoans I know are proud that this state is 20 years behind the rest of the country. Just today I heard a couple of high school kids talk about a new band from Seattle called "Nirvana". By the way anyone reading this is invited to my house Dec 31, 2019 to celebrate the new millennium.

3. Yellow Submarine - Idahoans love submarines. Bayview is home to a submarine testing facility. At one time most of our Navy's nuclear submariners were trained in Idaho Falls. The conning tower from USS Hawkbill (SSN-666) resides in Arco ID and the USS Boise is a sub.

1. Tie. The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill & Happiness is a Warm Gun - The one thing that Idahoans love more than their children and the dear lord above is their guns and a chance to shoot something.

Burn Baby Burn

On 9/11 some members of the Christian Taliban plan on burring copies of the Koran.  What better way to commemorate one act of terror with another.  Don’t get me wrong.  I whole heartedly support the first amendment and part of freedom’s price is tolerance for David Koresh wannabes who, if given the chance would throw away our founding documents for a Castro style Tudor theocracy.  Wow.  That was brilliant. I should stop here.

Since these book burning nut jobs claim to be doing the lord’s work I went to the source.  Before continuing I need to issue a disclaimer.  All of my Biblical knowledge is limited to English translations of Latin translations of Greek translations of Hebrew translations of Aramaic translations of words that were copied down from what was essentially a centuries long game of telephone. So maybe there is a margin of error in my research and I should be open to the possibility that Jesus was an arsonist of the first order. 

Using three different Bibles, one where every sentence begins with thee, thy and thou, one presented to me on the day of my confirmation that appears to have more chapters than the ones placed in hotel rooms by the Gideons and a version handed to me on a nice spring day by street corner preacher I commenced research.  Much to my surprise I could not find a single example of the J man burning a book or commanding his followers to do so.  Now I did find endorsements for stem cell research (healing leapers), open borders (the Good Samaritan) and financial reform (kicking the money changers out of the temple).  Other things I learned from my research is that a truly righteous and holy man eats sushi (loaves and fishes) and swills wine to the point of passing out (the bottomless wine bar of Cana). 

Too Much Democracy?

The latest wacky idea to emerge from the Tea Monkeys is repeal of the 17th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. To refresh your memory the 17th Amendment changed the way U.S. Senators are selected to office. Prior to the 17th Amendment U.S. Senators were chosen by state legislators and not a vote of the people.

Why this? Why now? Some folks believe repeal of the 17th Amendment would weaken the stranglehold of the special interest. As if corporations and labor unions don’t wield any influence at the state level. Others believe that repeal would lead to a more conservative Senate which would block things like stimulus packages and healthcare reform. Someone with my political leanings might view this as yet another attempt by the tea movement to deny voting rights to minorities and the working class. Remember this is the same crowd that cheered Tom Tancredo’s suggestion of brining back “Jim Crow Era” voting restrictions.

So what would this change mean for America? Right now Democrats control 27 state legislatures, republicans dominate in 14 with 8 state houses divided. In Nebraska the legislature is technically non partisan. Assuming an even split between the 8 divided states that would give democrats a 62-38 majority or filibuster proof plus 2. 5 of the 8 states with divided legislatures have democratic governors which could boost the democratic majority to 64. Under the pre 17th Amendment system there would be no Scott Brown, Chuck Grassely or Mitch McConnell. It is likely that there would be no traitor Joe Lieberman as well. The bottom line is that the U.S. Congress would be getting more things done. There would be public option health insurance. Instead of begging the Germans and Chinese to share their “green technologies” the U.S. might be leading the way. Who knows? We might have federal regulators who actually do their jobs instead of spending their days viewing porn on the internets.

Annie Get Your Gun

On April 19th gun enthusiast from all across the country descended on Washington DC to celebrate the lives and times of Timothy McVeigh and David Koresh. For our younger readers McVeigh and Koresh were mass murders who committed their acts of terror one year apart on April 19. One would think that an event celebrating the virtues of the second amendment would be held on March 19th Wyatt Erp’s birthday or on any other day not associated with white radical Christian terror. Imagine the outcry if Muslims assembled for a gathering in NYC on September 11th. It wouldn’t matter what the gathering was about the mere coincidence would be enough to cause Rudy Giuliani’s head to explode.

Party like it's 1859

On April 15th in Boise and other cities across this nation there will be a series of anti-America rallies a.k.a. “tea parties.” Allegedly these gatherings will consist of folks opposed to taxes, spending and big government. In Boise the tea monkeys will assemble in a public park paid for by taxes. The monkeys will then march down streets and sidewalks escorted by police officers all paid for by…anyone…Bueller… taxes. Marchers will then descend on the steps of the Idaho Capitol, a facility built, remodeled and maintained with tax dollars. Oh and let’s not forget that this rally will take place on April 15th, a Thursday, a day when a majority of us who pay taxes will be working. Or to put it another way, the majority of the tea marchers will consist of the unemployed and retirees. Chances are that one of those misspelled “Obama is a Marksist” signs will have been paid for with the proceeds from a government check and carried by someone with a Medicare card in their pocket.

Celebrating Treason

Imagine the outrage if Japan made December 7^th a national holiday complete with parades and reenactments of Pearl Harbor and the Bataan Death March.  There is a wing at ADX Florence (the U.S. Government’s super max prison) reserved for those who commit treason.   In my mind to be stabbed in the back by one’s own countryman is more heinous than some foreign whack job trying to set shoes afire on a loaded airplane. 

Yet disdain for treason seems to escape the governor of Virginia who declared April “Confederate History Month”.  Supporters are quick to claim that this is nothing more than a celebration of history and heritage.  To that I say “bull hockey” (no offense to my Canadian friends).  If the mayor of Berlin declared September to be Nazi Heritage month complete with displays of the Swastika he would be arrested and thrown into jail.  In this day and age when tea monkeys are complaining about imagined capitulation to America’s enemies why would anyone want to admire and memorialize any movement especially a home grown one dedicated to slavery and destruction of the republic?  I think I know the answer to my own question but the thought of “going there” is making me sick.

America's Most Wanted

As I write this Manuel Noriega is rotting in a federal prison for participating in a conspiracy to export drugs into the U.S. At the heart of the conviction is something called RICO which basically says that if you knowingly help someone commit a crime it is the same as if you perpetrated the offense.



Enter Joseph Ratzinger aka Pope Benedict XVI. Prior to becoming pope Cardinal Ratzinger served as Prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith. Think of the Perfect as Batman’s man servant Alfred , Tony Soprano’s capo Silvio or Bruce Springsteen’s saxophone player Clarence Clemmons. In his capacity as Prefect Ratzinger participated in the cover up of crimes against children perpetrated by catholic clergy. There is no difference between Ratzinger and fugitive Simon Lopez-Orozco, a man wanted in Idaho for helping his brother, a murderer sneak out of the country.

Now maybe I’ve watched too many episodes of Law and Order Special Victims Unit but in my mind crimes against children are bit more serious than drug trafficking. A drug user chooses (or at least makes the initial first choice to try drugs) to become a victim. In spite of what Bill O’Reilly may say children do not make such choice.


So my question is this. Why not arrest the pope? No man is above the law, including a guy who wears gowns and big pointy hats. While it took a couple of seal teams, some green berets and the better part of the 7th division to capture Noriega we should be able to snag the pope with a squad of boy scouts whom have earned the rifle shooting merit badge. Think about it. The Vatican Army consists of couple dozen guys, dressed like extras from the Shakespeare Festival armed with swords and pointy sticks. Sure pikes were bad ass around 900 AD but no match for the good old American Smith and Weston. Recall that scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark where Indiana shoots the swordsman in the bizarre with his pistol and you get the picture. How can we call ourselves a nation of laws while Pope Benedict and a good portion of the U.S. Council of Bishops are allowed to freely walk the streets?